江西新11选5彩彩乐:關于“緊湊和連貫”的雅思作文評分標準實踐

  • A+
所屬分類:雅思作文思路

安徽新11选5开奖结果 www.lyefzl.com.cn 連貫和緊湊CC(Coherence and Cohesion)

常見錯誤1:段落中間沒有明確的中心句,論述過程沒有明確的中心思想

例:Children are too young to distinguish right from wrong. They watch television every day and do not study. They drop out of schools or fight with their peers. It is true that television viewing is not good for children.
【淺析】這段文章企圖論述“看電視導致小孩的行為問題”,但是它的中心句沒有直接說明觀點,而后面的論述也沒有說清楚電視和小孩行為的聯系。

常見錯誤2:段落中間有很多觀點,但是沒有進行分類和逐個論述

例:The Olympics can create a lot of economic benefits and also benefit people's health. People can practise sports every day. They can earn more money because of job opportunities. With physical fitness, they can perform their jobs very well. Their income will also increase, good for the whole country
【淺析】這段話的觀點是奧運會有經濟價值,也對人們的健康有利。然而,雅思考生在論述的過程中沒有分開表述這兩個觀點。這兩個觀點最終是夾雜一起,沒有清晰的思路。

常見錯誤3:連接詞過多使用,使用錯誤或者使用不恰當

例:It is undeniable that the government should spend money on art. This is because the government has a lot of money. Obviously, art is important to our life. However, other things cannot be as important as art to us. It comes as no surprise that many countries in the world have spent a lot of money on art.
【淺析】這段話用了大量的連接詞,如“it is undeniable that..." , "this is because..."。然而,這些連接詞都不是很恰當。政府投資藝術為什么就是“無可置疑的”(it is undeniable)。

常見錯誤4:使用冗長的套句,這是中國雅思考生的普遍問題,直接導致分數過低

例:Education has become one of the most controversial issues around the world while many people have a hard time reaching a consensus on the importance of moral education.
【淺析】教育不可能是一個很有爭議的“the most controversial issues”話題,而教育的重要性不是什么方案或者計劃,一不需要得到人們的統一通過“consensus"。模式化的開頭只會引起考官的反感。

常見錯誤5:段落要么太長(6-7句話),要么太短(2-3句話),或者分段的地方不對。

例:Individuals and businesses should pay for the clean-up of pollution. If individuals are not held responsible for their behaviour, they will continue to pollute the environment. The government's spending can improve the environment, but it sooner or later runs out of money. If companies are required to pay for pollution reduction methods, they will be more careful about their behaviour.
In addition, if companies and individuals do not bear any cost, they do not have motivation to be environmentally friendly.
【淺析】這個雅思考生用“in addition”分段,看似一個新的觀點,但是事實上和前面的觀點重復很大,繼續深入論述很難,不應該另起一段。

發表評論

:?: :razz: :sad: :evil: :!: :smile: :oops: :grin: :eek: :shock: :???: :cool: :lol: :mad: :twisted: :roll: :wink: :idea: :arrow: :neutral: :cry: :mrgreen: